I'll Make a Grown Man Cry
by TrimbyJean
Summary: Two-parter, maybe three. Established Puckleberry. Set in season 2, "Never Been Kissed". KINDA SMUTTY AND REALLY BAD LANGUAGE!
1. Start Me Up

This is from "Never Been Kissed". It's established Puckleberry, with them never breaking up on the bleachers (my constant dream). It's just Puck, thinking about how hot his girlfriend is, basically ;)

Puck lounged in his chair, waiting for the girls to make their big entrance. When he'd talked to Rachel last night, she'd admitted that their mash-up was kind of rushed; she'd only thought of the songs 2 days ago. Puck couldn't wait to see what she'd picked.

See, he got her into rock music. Yeah, sure, she'd known a couple bands and a couple songs, but he got her _into it_. He took her to see a Jovi concert in Columbus over the summer, and she was a fan now. Had a shirt and everything. He'd even convinced her to listen to some Metallica, but she wasn't that thrilled with it ("Really Noah, all that yelling must be terrible on their vocal chords. And why is the guitar so… heavy sounding? It sounds much better when you play it." He wasn't gonna argue that last bit).

The band must have gotten a cue or some shit, because they started playing a familiar beat. It wasn't until the talk box kicked in that Puck realized what it was, and a smile bust out across his face. He _knew_ that tune. He played it a lot nowadays, because it was one of his girl's favorites ("We'll be just like them, Noah, only much less unfortunate."). Bon Jovi. His girl had convinced them to do _Bon fuckin' Jovi_ (he was pretty sure he loved this chick, crazy and all).

The girls came in, one by one, singing Rolling Stones lyrics (another familiar song. Puck got her into the Stones, too. If only the girls knew who they had to thank for their mash-up…), all decked out in bandanas and leather. It was kinda cool, not gonna lie. But he didn't see Rachel. Motion at the doorway caught his eye, and he turned.

"Oohh…. Tommy used to work on the docks…" _Fuck_. Holy fuckin' shit fuckin' damn fuckin' God. _Fuck_! He really didn't have anything other than that. Rach was wearing these tight, black leather-like pants (they couldn't be real leather, that was against her vegan shit), and a tight black shirt that showed off her rack. She had some type of black corset-y thing on (he didn't know what the hell it was), and these knee-high, high-heeled black boots. She wore a jacket like the others, and her hair… Hot damn. It was wild and messy, like it was after they had a really hot make-out session (he was so close to sliding home, it almost killed him). Her huge brown eyes were rimmed in black, and it made them stand out even more and look all kinds of sexy.

She was making her way across the room, staring him down with those eyes the entire time. The look in them screamed rock star/fuck me (maybe Puck was imagining that half… okay, hoping), and all he could do was sit there and follow her with his own eyes as she belted out Bon Jovi (so hot) and did this little move that just made all the blood flow from his brain to another part of his body (she was tryin' to kill him. That was the only explaination). She grabbed the guitar player, rubbing herself against him and sliding down his body (Puck resisted the urge to hit the dude, although his smile wasn't helping his case. Puck caught a flash of a smirk on Rachel's face, and figured she was teasing him).

Puck made sure to catalogue every single tiny movement she made (running her hand down her body, throwing her head back… fuck, he was pretty sure getting up was impossible at this point). When she kicked out her leg, he felt a certain part of his body jump in response, and tried to get ahold of himself. But then, she was basically dry humping the microphone stand, and he was gone _again_. He clapped and cheered with the other guys, but it was like everything she did was just for him. When the girls lifted the mic stand and she wailed into it, something in his brain (did it still work? Did he even have one anymore?) reminded him that she had no gag reflex… and suddenly, he was thinking about all the things he wanted to do to her later on, in that outfit… and almost pulled a Finn. Right there, in the choir room. Shit was _not_ cool.

He took a deep breath and talked himself down, getting to the point where it wasn't awkward and uncomfortable anymore. He looked up, and there was his girlfriend, crawling on the floor toward him, that look in her eye again.

He talked himself down, again (dead people, his ma, his crazy old neighbor with the hairy lip and disgusting mole, _anything_) as the girls finished, and while Mr. Schue excused himself to answer Sue's message, the girls mingled. Rachel walked right over to him, sitting herself in his lap and effectively ruining all his hard (or, not hard, in this case) work. She smiled at him, the adrenaline obviously still running through her. She'd been like this after the concert, too- breathless and happy and totally kissable.

That was what he did first- kiss her. He planted one on her in front of everyone, bending her over backward as he leaned forward and basically attacked her. Brittney, Mercedes and Mike all whooped and cheered, while Kurt scooted away a little and Sam tried not to get a lap full of Rachel's head. Puck brought her back up, letting her breathe, and put his hands on her to stop them from shaking (he really just wanted to find a closet and hump her brains out, but he wasn't a douche. He wanted her first time to be more special than that). She was still smiling, a little dazed now.

"I take it you liked it, then." She said. "I thought you would." She nuzzled his neck and cuddled closer.

"Babe, that was… Fuck." He ran a (still shaky) hand over his 'hawk. "I know you don't like it when I swear, but _fuck_." She giggled, and when he felt her breath dance over his skin, it was an almost Finn all over again (dude, he'd be whipped for this chick any day).

"Good." She said. "I think in this instance, your deplorable language is both necessary and appreciated." She looked up at him, wide-eyed, and bit her lower lip. "You know… I didn't bring a change of clothes."


	2. We're Halfway There

**A/N: *bows excessively* I'm sorry! I'm so, so, SO SORRY! I know that I haven't updated anything in like, FOREVER, but life has been crazy. I've been pulling overtime at work so I can have money for Christmas, plus I'm saving up for a car AND a tattoo, so it's intense. Plus, I'm studying for finals, and cleaning up the house and decorating... Sheesh. I'm sure a lot of you can relate, and I don't want to give you some sob story when I know you really want the Puckleberry. I'm going to do my best to be an uploading FIEND these next few days, but it's hard. The inspiration bug hasn't been biting. Plus, I've recently started re-watching Bleach, because I love me some Ulqihime, GrimmNel, and GinRan. So, I've been drifting... I feel so unloyal -_-. BUT, the good news is I have a little something I wrote a while ago for my AU story tucked away, and it will be unveiled on the first night of Hannukah! So excited, can't wait! ANYWAY, to (mis)quote one of my favorite albums, Never mind the bollocks, here comes the Puckleberry!**

**Rating: Most definitely an M, even though compared to the first chapter, it's tame. I promise to stop teasing next chapter!**

**Don't own it; Wish I did. Brittney and Artie would be together, Puck would be loving Rachel ALL THE TIME, and Rory would have an adorable girlfriend (he deserves one, don't you think? Hmmm... *sits down and begins Rory/OC story*)**

He stood up, almost dropping her, and apologized while grabbing his jacket and her hand. He lifted her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes while she squealed. Everyone was staring at them, and he realized he hadn't really thought this through; had no excuse.

Everyone was still looking, blinking at him and Rachel's ass (the only part of her they could see… Fuck, her ass looked hot in those pants). She was exclaiming at him to put her down, but wasn't really putting up a fight.

"Fuck this…" He muttered, before addressing the group (mostly the guys with girlfriends). "I don't know about you losers, but I'm taking this home." He turned and left the choir room, not even stopping at Rachel's locker to grab her stuff. She could just ask Kurt to bring it home for her. She was still telling him to let her go, so he put her on her feet and kissed her to shut her up, before picking her up again (this time, bridal style) and kicking open the door to the parking lot.

"Noah-"

"Rach, babe, just shut up. I fuckin' love you and your babbling, but you just told me you don't have anything else to wear, and you're totally not wearing underwear- I can tell- and you just sang fuckin' Bon Jovi and the Stones, and I just need to take you home and fuckin' make out with you until I can't breathe. Okay?" She nodded solemnly and let him put her in his truck. He hopped in and started it up, making out with her a little more. He couldn't really keep his hands off her.

He must've broke like, 5 traffic laws to get home, but Rachel didn't say anything. Normally, it would worry him, but every time he glanced at her, she was giving him these heated little looks, so he didn't give a shit. He pulled her out the driver's side, pressing her into the metal of the door and making out again. Without really breaking apart, He somehow unlocked his door and got them upstairs to his room. By that point, her legs were around his waist- boots and all- and he was kissing her neck while she made these little mewling sounds in the back of her throat. He tossed her on his bed and dragged his shirt off before diving after her.

He had that corset thing off and her shirt almost completely gone when a voice interrupted them. It was faraway at first, so Puck ignored it in favor of the hickey he was in the process of leaving on Rachel's neck, but then it got closer. Eventually, it sounded like it was coming from the stairs.

"Noah, is that you? Aren't you supposed to be in school for another half-hour? Did something happen?"

Shit. His ma. She normally worked during the day, and he'd completely forgotten she had today off to bake something or other for some JCC thing. Shit. Rachel was sitting up, red-faced and dragging her shirt back on, and Puck almost whined as her bra (red lace, holy fuck! That had to be Santana's doing, in which case, he fuckin' owed that bitch something nice) was covered by the material. She threw a random shirt off the floor at him and he hastily pulled it on while she ran fingers through her hair and brushed the hickey. Her eyes widened, and he swore she glared at him while running to his bathroom and looking at it. He shut the door as his mom came into view.

"Noah? You didn't answer me."

He ran a hand over his hair and shrugged. "Yeah, sorry ma. I just… uh…"

The bathroom door opened and Rachel stepped out, makeup free and hickey hidden. She'd taken off her boot and pants and was wearing a pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie. "Hello, Mrs. Puckerman. Noah and I were just getting ready to practice something for glee. I got slushied on our way out of school, and didn't have a change of clothes, so Noah was nice enough to lend me his sink and some sweats. He's such a good boyfriend." She looked up at him adoringly, and he shrugged back like, "yeah, that's me", pulling her close and kissing the top of her head.

His ma fell for it completely (to be fair, Rachel was kind of mesmerizing like that, plus his ma loved her. Chick could murder someone and his ma would give her an alibi. She twittered around Rachel, offering sympathy for the slushie attack and asking if Rachel wanted to stay for dinner ("Of course, I'd love to, Mrs. Puckerman"). She told them she'd call up when food was ready, and then left, even closing the door behind her (sometimes he worried about his mother's sanity). He looked down at Rachel, who still managed to look smokin' hot, even in his clothes (maybe it was the whole 'lying to his mom' thing). She giggled and smiled at him. "That was close."

"Too fuckin' close. Sorry, babe. Forgot she had off." He threw himself on the bed and patted the spot next to him, which she quickly claimed, snuggling against his side.

"It's okay, Noah. It might be a good thing." He knew she was referring to the fact that if he mom hadn't been home, there would've probably been sex (awesome, mind-blowing, insane-as-shit, never-wanna-do-it-with-another-chick-again sex, but still). He nodded, but couldn't help but be disappointed.

**A/N: Was it, Rachel? Was it REALLY a good thing? 'Cuz I'm thinking you should cooperate with your writer and just jump his sexy bones already... XD **


End file.
